I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my liver is dry heaving
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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