Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
