the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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