i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
