apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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