i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
