I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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