loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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