you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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