I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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