Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
