Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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