you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's blow job season.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
