I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That accounts for only three of the penises
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
