Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
