Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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