she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
