So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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