You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
