I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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