i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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