CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
