he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Randomize
