just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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