He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
my liver is dry heaving
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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