I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
