the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
