she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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