Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
