I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
