I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
