I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
