I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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