My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
