i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
