Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
