i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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