I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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