hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
