No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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