i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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