We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
