you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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