He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
