don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
