escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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