You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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