woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
