I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
