Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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