I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is Oprah even human
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
