u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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